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• "If this garbage sounds like your kind of thing, and the folks who jump up and talk back to the screen are your kind of people, then, sweetheart, you and this movie deserve each other." Michael O'Sullivan : The Washington Post
• Technically it does not qualify as one of the worst American-made movies ever. It only feels that way." Patrick Z. McGavin : Chicago Tribune
• "Not that the film is outrageous. That would be asking too much. It is dim-witted, unfunny, too shallow to be offensive" Roger Ebert : Chicago Sun-Times
• "If Boat Trip were screened on a cruise ship, most of the passengers would be dog-paddling back to shore."  A. O. Scott : The New York Times
• "This excruciating cocktail of sitcom plotting and gross-out humor makes a clunky cheesefest like "The Love Boat" look like breezy, sophisticated fun." David Rooney : Variety
• "There are bad movies, and there’s Boat Trip" Marrit Ingman : Austin Chronicle

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FILM IN REVIEW

FILM IN REVIEW; 'Boat Trip'

By Elvis Mitchell

• March 21, 2003

Directed by Mort Nathan

R, 95 minutes

Whom do you feel sorrier for, the cast of ''Boat Trip'' or their children? Remember, kids can be very cruel -- and this latest ''get Cuba Gooding Jr. career counseling fast'' project is a misfire from beginning to end.

Mr. Gooding plays Jerry, who is in mourning over the breakup of his relationship with Felicia (Vivica A. Fox). The barking hound-dog Nick (Horatio Sanz) talks Jerry into joining him on a singles cruise, but the travel agent they anger gets his revenge by booking the pair on a gay singles cruise. ''Boat Trip'' goes down faster than the Titanic and is far more deserving of its fate.

''Boat Trip,'' which opens nationwide today, is a series of flashing semaphores that signal its dreariness. It has the most exhausted collection of song clichés this side of a Time-Life oldies collection, from James Brown's ''I Feel Good'' all the way to the eventual cover of ''I Will Survive.'' What's missing from this motley medley is a tune by Cuba Gooding Sr.: ''Everybody Plays the Fool.''

The junior Gooding has shown himself to be a game actor, and he is fearless at throwing his entire being into pictures that seem to exist to prove that he can be in something worse than the last movie you saw him in. If ''Boat Trip'' were screened on a cruise ship, most of the passengers would be dog-paddling back to shore.

''Boat Trip'' is more tiresome and dumb than actually bad. A scant 10 minutes or so after Mr. Sanz has wrung every exasperated take out of his surprise at being on a gay cruise -- and still goes on with it anyway -- the movie introduces something that could only pass as a subplot to people stranded at sea. The Swedish women's suntanning team joins the cruise, giving Nick another reason to pop his eyes wide open. And another reason to flinch -- he is kept at bay from the brown-and-serve cuties by the authoritarian tanning team captain, Sonya (Lin Shaye, in another of her grim-visaged roles). When Nick isn't being chased off by Sonya, he is being stalked by an aged gay pursuer, Lloyd (Roger Moore).

Jerry finds his own heartthrob on board: the ship's dance instructor, Gabriella (Roselyn Sanchez), a straight woman who is working a gay cruise to put some distance between herself and lying hetero men. What happens between the two of them is as predictable as the never-ending phallic jokes -- a surfeit of single-entendres -- that are festooned across the boat decks by the director, Mort Nathan. The legend ''A Mort Nathan Film'' got one of the biggest laughs at the depressed screening I attended.

Between Mr. Gooding's relentless energy and Mr. Sanz's impish gleam -- he may be the only heavyset ''Saturday Night Live'' cast member whose comic approach isn't inspired by self-hatred -- they have the potential to make a likable comedy team. But it's unlikely anyone would pair them again after ''Boat Trip'': the foreign film Oscar nominee from the Netherlands will enjoy bigger box-office returns than this picture.

Probably the next time we see Mr. Gooding on screen, he'll be getting a stern lecture on learning to love himself from Dr. Phil.

''Boat Trip'' is rated R (Under 17 requires accompanying parent or adult guardian). It has strong language, more unwieldy sex gags than can be found in the collected ''Playboy Party Jokes,'' and drug and alcohol consumption. ELVIS MITCHELL

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Boat Trip — Facts

Boat Trip is a 2002 American romantic comedy film directed by Mort Nathan in his feature film directorial debut and starring Cuba Gooding Jr., Horatio Sanz, Vivica A. Fox, Roselyn Sánchez , and Roger Moore . The film was released in the United States on March 21, 2003, and was a major critical and commercial failure.

In October 2002, Artisan Pictures acquired the North American distribution rights to Boat Trip.

Boat Trip was released in the UK on October 4, 2002, and in the US and Canada on March 21, 2003, where the film opened at #10 and grossed $3,815,075 in 1715 theatres. In total, it had a worldwide gross of $15,020,293. It was released on DVD in the US on September 30, 2003.

Critical response

This film was universally panned by the critics on its initial release. On Rotten Tomatoes, the film has an approval rating of 7%, based on reviews from 90 critics, with an average rating of 3.10/10. The site's consensus reads: "Boat Trip is a lame, juvenile farce that's heavy on stereotypes and desperate antics but short on brains and laughs." On Metacritic, it has a score of 18 out of 100, based on 28 reviews, indicating "overwhelming dislike" by critics.

Roger Ebert of the Chicago Sun-Times panned the film and wrote: "This is a movie made for nobody, about nothing." He continued: "Not that the film is outrageous. That would be asking too much. It is dim-witted, unfunny, too shallow to be offensive." Ebert included it at #3 on his list of the 10 worst films of 2003. Variety called it a "Washout. Lacking the mojo even to be offensive".

Many viewed the film as homophobic, although a reviewer for The Advocate wrote that the film was too terrible to protest. On the show Ebert & Roeper, Roger Ebert said the film "was so bad in so many different ways, not only does it offend gays, it offends everyone else." His co-host Richard Roeper said, "If the ship hit an iceberg, I would have been rooting for the iceberg." Chris Rock mentioned Gooding during the 2005 Oscars telecast for starring in this movie after receiving an Academy Award, joking that Gooding must have had serious financial problems to need star in such a bad film.

The film was nominated for two Razzie Awards for Gooding as Worst Actor and for Mort Nathan as Worst Director, but "lost" both awards to Gigli . At the 2003 Stinkers Bad Movie Awards, the film received five nominations: Worst Picture, Worst Actor for Gooding, Worst Supporting Actor for Moore, Most Painfully Unfunny Comedy, and Worst On-Screen Couple for Gooding and anyone forced to co-star with him. Its only win was for Most Painfully Unfunny Comedy.

Plot spoiler

Jerry (Cuba Gooding Jr.) and Nick (Horatio Sanz) are two close friends whose love lives have hit rock bottom. Jerry's girlfriend Felicia (Vivica A. Fox) has turned down his marriage proposal after vomiting all over her during a hot air balloon ride during the proposal. After Nick runs into a friend who is marrying a beautiful, younger girl he met on a singles cruise, he decides to take a similar cruise with Jerry.

While on their way to the travel agency, they get into a verbal altercation with a gay man who works at the agency they plan to book the cruise through. The manager ( Will Ferrell ) attempts to patch things up by handling their booking personally. To Jerry and Nick, the situation appears to be handled well and they leave, not expecting anything to go wrong. After they leave, it is revealed that the agent and manager, both men, are actually gay lovers, and that they have been booked on a cruise for gay men.

During their trip, they come to learn that gay men are less objectionable than they first assumed. However, Jerry falls in love with the cruise's dance instructor Gabriella ( Roselyn Sánchez ) and in order to win her over, he pretends to be gay so he can get closer to her. Meanwhile, Nick blossoms a romance with a bikini model named Inga ( Victoria Silvstedt ). After an accidental affair with her mean, sex-obsessed coach Sonya ( Lin Shaye ), Nick must fend her off, after she has fallen in love with him as well.

In the end, Jerry wins Gabriella while Nick loses out on Inga but sees a potential relationship with her sister instead. However, he is then unwittingly (and unwillingly) reunited with Sonya; much to his disgust and her instant arousal upon seeing him.

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• Two straight men mistakenly end up on a "gays only" cruise.
• Jerry and Nick are two best buddies whose love lives have hit rock bottom, Jerry's especially, having just vomited all over his fiancée on a hot air balloon trip prior to proposing to her. To escape their troubles and find women, they book a trip on-board a cruiseliner, unaware the travel agent has just played a horrid trick on them in retaliation for Nick offending his secret gay lover. And that's the trick; it's a gay cruiseliner for gay men to meet and mingle. Slowly but surely, the two main characters begin to realize this and in turn get into a lot of humorous predicaments. — corrections by [email protected]

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Boat Trip is a lame, juvenile farce that's heavy on stereotypes and desperate antics but short on brains and laughs.

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If the player has not been to a Gyroid, Produce, or Glowing Moss-type island within the last 7 boat tours and none of the other island types are chosen for that day, the island visited will be of one of those four types that has not been visited. If there are multiple, the type visited the longest time ago is selected.

Certain islands exist in a different season or time of day from the game clock. This can be taken advantage of to catch out-of-season fish , insects , and sea creatures . However, these islands cannot be visited if the specific player has not personally experienced that season at least once before. Time continues to pass while on these islands, which can be observed if the player spends several hours on one.

• 1 Probability
• 2 Common factors
• 3.1.1 Gyroid islands
• 3.1.2 Produce islands
• 3.1.3 Vine/glowing moss islands
• 3.2.1 Star Fragment
• 3.2.2 Cherry Blossom
• 3.2.3 Spring Bamboo
• 3.2.4 Summer Shell
• 3.2.5 Mushroom
• 3.2.6 Maple Leaf
• 3.2.7 Snowflake
• 4 References

Probability [ edit ]

The game first determines if the player will visit a normal island (78%) or a rare island (22%). If the player has received a fortune for improved belongings luck that day, this is always guaranteed to be a rare island. [1] Otherwise, the game will calculate this as follows:

• If a normal island is chosen, the game will select a normal island type from the ones that have not been visited in the longest time within the last 7 days. The counter for not visiting a particular island can increase to a maximum of 20 days.
• If a specific player has not yet personally experienced the date on their own island that the selected island currently experiences, the game will instead select a normal island. This is always guaranteed to be the vine/glowing moss island if the player has received a fortune for improved belongings luck that day.

Common factors [ edit ]

All islands contain a single buried gyroid fragment .

Flowers will always be in-season according to the date experienced on the island, but will never be the player's native or sister flowers. The bushes present on the island are always the current bushes in bloom as determined by the game's time.

Bug and fish spawns will always match the date that the island is experiencing (either fixed or real in-game time).

For normal islands, there is a 29.4% chance of one of the rocks being a money rock , and a 2% chance of all rocks being money rocks. Rare islands will always have at least one money rock present.

Types of islands [ edit ]

Normal islands [ edit ].

Normal islands all have multiple possible layouts, one of which will be chosen at random when the player visits an island type.

Gyroid islands [ edit ]

Chance: 30%

Internal ID Haniwa/RareHaniwa

These islands are encountered most frequently between all island types. This type of island is always guaranteed to be visited upon the player's first boat tour, when searching for Brewster, and whenever the player has received a bad belongings fortune from Katrina (and has not opted for purification). In this latter scenario, the buried gyroid fragment will always be replaced with clay .

There is an 8% chance that the player may encounter the same island but with precipitation (either rain or snow depending on the time of year). In addition to the usual buried gyroid fragment, there will be one fully-formed gyroid buried as well. This can be any gyroid except for a brewstoid .

• Screenshots (Gyroid islands)

• Screenshots (Rare Gyroid islands)

Produce islands [ edit ]

Chance: 22%

Internal ID Vegetable

These islands contain multiple plants of one random type of produce , with each plant containing a fixed amount of harvestable goods. The message bottle that appears on the beach always contains a random cooking recipe. If the player has not purchased Be a Chef! DIY Recipes+ however, the message bottle will instead contain furniture DIY recipes.

• Screenshots

Vine/glowing moss islands [ edit ]

Chance: 18%

Internal ID OneRoom

These islands contain vines and glowing moss . The message bottle that appears on the beach always contains a random vine or glowing moss recipe. Although the island's date is set to summer, this only affects the appearance; the fish, insects and sea creatures that spawn will be the same as the date on the player's home island. Since version 2.0.4 , sand paths will now appear around each coconut tree .

If the player has received a good belongings fortune from Katrina , the player will be sent to this island if the rare island the game rolls to has a date that the player has not experienced yet in-game.

Rare islands [ edit ]

Rare islands all have a single fixed layout for each island type.

Star Fragment [ edit ]

Chance: 3.14%

Internal ID StarPiece

This island is always set to midnight when the player arrives, with a heavy meteor shower taking place. If the player wishes upon the shooting stars, star fragments will appear on their own island's beaches the following day. The message bottle that appears on the beach always contains a random star fragment recipe . The creatures that spawn are based on the current time, not the apparent night of the island. Vines also appear on this island.

The meteor shower on this island is heavier than what the player can ever experience on their own island, with an 80% chance of a shooting star appearing on any given minute instead of the usual 50%. There is then an equal chance for 5 stars or 8 stars to appear within that single minute.

There are some stars on the beach too, but they will be mostly star fragments .

The island can only be visited if the player has played the game on June 15 in the northern hemisphere, or December 15 in the southern hemisphere.

Rocks on this island will always drop only star fragments with the following distribution:

Cherry Blossom [ edit ]

Internal ID Sakura

This island is always experiencing the spring Cherry Blossom season , with all hardwood trees taking on soft pink petals and cherry-blossom petals floating in the air that can be caught with a net . The message bottle that appears on the beach always contains a random recipe from the Cherry Blossoms Series .

The island can only be visited if the player has played the game between April 1 and 10 in the northern hemisphere, or October 1 and 10 in the southern hemisphere.

Spring Bamboo [ edit ]

Internal ID SpringBamboo

This island is always experiencing spring and contains bamboo , which can drop young spring bamboo when struck with an axe . The message bottle that appears on the beach contains a random recipe from the Bamboo Series .

The island can only be visited if the player has played the game between February 25 and May 31 in the northern hemisphere, or August 25 and November 30 in the southern hemisphere.

Summer Shell [ edit ]

Internal ID SeaShell

This island is always experiencing summer , with summer shells found washed ashore on the beaches. The message bottle that appears on the beach always contains a random recipe for an item crafted using summer shells.

The island can only be visited if the player has played the game between June 1 and August 31 in the northern hemisphere, or December 1 and February 28 in the southern hemisphere.

Mushroom [ edit ]

Internal ID Mushroom

This island is always experiencing fall and is host to various species of mushrooms . The message bottle that appears on the beach always contains a random recipe from the Mush Series . A random assortment of six mushrooms (composed of two flat mushrooms , round mushrooms , and skinny mushrooms ) can be found, as well as pine cones and acorns .

In order, each of the 15 trees will be randomly assigned an item underneath:

• Three trees will have a tree branch .
• Five trees will have a random mushroom.
• Up to five hardwood trees (or less if there are less than five hardwood trees) will have an acorn.
• Up to five cedar trees (or less if there are less than five cedar trees) will have a pine cone.

The island can only be visited if the player has played the game between November 1 and 30 in the northern hemisphere, or May 1 and 31 in the southern hemisphere.

Maple Leaf [ edit ]

Internal ID Maple

This island is always experiencing fall and has maple leaves floating in the air, which can be caught using a net . The message bottle that appears on the beach always contains a random recipe from the Tree's Bounty or Leaves Series .

The island can only be visited if the player has played the game between November 16 and 25 in the northern hemisphere, or May 16 and 25 in the southern hemisphere.

Snowflake [ edit ]

Internal ID SnowCrystal

This island is always experiencing a snow storm during winter and has snowflakes floating in the air, which can be caught using a net . The message bottle that appears on the beach contains a random recipe from the Frozen Series .

The island can only be visited if the player has played the game between December 11 and February 24 in the northern hemisphere, or June 11 and August 24 in the southern hemisphere.

References [ edit ]

• ↑ 2.0.0 update ~ Kapp'n

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http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Trivia/BoatTrip

Boat Trip » Trivia

• Creator Killer : Director Mort Nathan previously worked on television, notably as a head writer and co-producer on The Golden Girls . He was unsuccessful on film, though. After this one failed in 2002, his only two films afterwards were the equally bad National Lampoon movies Van Wilder: The Rise of Taj and Bag Boy . His most recent credit was directing an episode of Big Time Rush back in 2010.
• Keep Circulating the Tapes : This movie isn't available on any streaming service.
• Money, Dear Boy : Roger Moore did this movie for money, as well as a free vacation . Lampshaded by Chris Rock while hosting The 77th Academy Awards ceremony, joking that Gooding must have had serious financial problems to need star in such a bad film.
• Star-Derailing Role : This marked the decline of Cuba Gooding Jr. 's major movie career, post- Jerry Maguire .
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"Lu, you're going too fast. If you slow down, you might find her. Like when we found Dots , remember?" "I can't slow down! I'm scared Tara's lost forever!" "Maybe you can slow down if you breathe slow. I can do it with you if you want." -Gus and Lu

Boat Trip is the fifty-fourth episode of the first season of Lu & the Bally Bunch and the fifty-fourth episode overall.

• 3 Characters
• 4 Locations

Lu goes on a boat trip and loses Tara.

Synopsis [ ]

Lu is excited to go on her very first boat trip with Gus and his grandad, Garreth. When Grace tells her about the dancing water skaters they may see on the trip, Lu's excitement grows. While on the trip, she keeps prompting Garreth to go faster, as she wants to see the skaters. But, this enthusiasm causes the three to mis out on a few sights, such as frogs, and even Dots the dog-fly. But, Lu later realizes that something is very wrong: Tara is not with them.

Panicking, Lu prompts Garreth to go back to the house, where she flies around, throwing things across the deck and freaking out. Gus tries to get her to slow down and breathe, and Lu reluctantly complies. Together, the two take a slow, dep breath, clearing Lu's mind and calming her down. Feeling calmer, Lu navigates her surroundings with ease, finding her beloved Tara hiding behind the lifejackets. With Tara recovered and everyone happy, the bugs re-embark on their boat trip, finally getting to see the dancing water skaters.

Characters [ ]

• Gus' Grandad

Locations [ ]

• Gus' houseboat
• Taking a moment to breathe and slow down can help you solve a problem/
• 2 Lu & the Bally Bunch

Synopsis [ ]

Two down-on-their-luck fisherman and their boat are hired by a pair of Jesuit priests from a secretive order dedicated to combatting the insidious Esoteric Order of Dagon . Travelling to the middle of the English Channel, they succeed in delivering a biological weapon into a nest of fish-like humanoids .

Days later, dying from whatever horrific contagion has been released upon them, the oceanic monstrosities track down the ship's captain and his wife, murdering the two as a small measure of vengeance.

Publication History [ ]

• The 3rd Spectral Book of Horror Stories (2016)
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• Lovecraftiana Vol 5, Issue 4 (2021)

• 1.1.1 Translations
• 1.2 See also

boat trip ( plural boat trips )

• A trip made by boat or ship .

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" Boat Trip " is an thirty-second episode of Jonas L.A. .

• 4.1 Regulars
• 4.2 Guest Stars

Synopsis [ ]

With Joe and Stella not speaking to each other, Nick and Macy come up with a plan to get them to talk. Meanwhile, David Henrie challenges Kevin to a reality show competition.

Joe begins ignoring Stella and when he does speak to her, it is very harsh. Stella and Joe then talk to Nick and Macy privately and one-on-one about how they were thinking about ending their friendship. Nick and Macy decide to meddle and plan a boat trip in an effort to get the pair to make up. While on the boat, the anchor drops and they are stuck. Macy has a panic attack and Nick tries to help her while Joe and Stella rekindle their friendship. Towards the end of the episode, Joe decides he wanted to ask Stella to be his girlfriend. When he tries, Aunt Lisa rides up behind them in a little boat. Macy rejoices, happy to be "rescued" and Joe keeps getting interrupted. Finally, he takes her hands and says "Stella Malone, will you be my girlfriend?" Meanwhile, throughout the episode, Kevin battles David Henrie about a grudge that David is holding against him. In the end he finds out David hates him because he believes that Jenny Reese broke up with him to go out with Kevin, but he finds out she went out with Joe. Kevin wins David's "challenge".

• Song featured in the episode: Chillin in the Summer Time
• This is the first of a three-part series finale.

Regulars [ ]

• Kevin Jonas : Kevin Lucas
• Joe Jonas : Joe Lucas
• Nick Jonas : Nick Lucas
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• David Henrie : Himself
• Emily Osment : Herself
• 2 The Emotions

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A leisurely boat trip

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Take to the water

A lazy afternoon

"You jest, surely?"

"Very well."

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