Added: Tiffeny Domino - Date: 10.08.2021 14:42 - Views: 11865 - Clicks: 8492
Mother Teresa called feeling unloved and unwanted the greatest poverty. Whether with your spouse, partner, friends, anyone, or everyone, do you struggle to feel loved? No matter how different we all are us people — in race, creed, faith, geography, history, whatever — we are all fundamentally the same in that we all want to feel like we are loved and wanted.
The struggle to feel loved is one that all of us are on the journey of. What can be done? Here are some things that stop us from seeing the love in our lives, and reinforce the often incorrect view that we are unwanted and unloved. I would like to submit to you Not feeling loved nothing could be further from the truth.
The first thing that goes without saying that can make us feel unloved are the unloving actions of others. Perhaps they genuinely have no sense of value for you.
We see this all the time in the world of marriage and relationships, where people so frequently use and abuse people for their own gain, say and do awful things, then permanently leave. The unfortunate reality is that we can do nothing about the actions of others.
All we can control is how we respond. How will you react? I think all of us have had times where our needs have gone unmet. And this is where we can get stuck. What happens when you get disappointed or let down by that person? It must be their fault somehow.
When I wasit was up to others to make sure I was fed. In the same way, do you know what you need? And Not feeling loved you know how to go get it? Whilst we could be a victim of things that are happening, they encourage proactively going after support, fulfillment, and a multitude of healthy relationships. That is something you have full control over. With multiple sources of input in your life, you are less likely to feel like the world is ending when you reach the limitations in one person or a particular group of people. Doctor Gary Chapman famously wrote and put forward the notion of five love languages.
His research which has been well received by the larger community suggests that people have a particular way of expressing love and of receiving love.
I have seen that Not feeling loved can very unhealthily apply this wisdom in a way that puts pressure on people and allows us to build contempt and resentment against others by expecting them to only ever speak in our language. The balance to our desire for what we want Not feeling loved to be compared against whether or not a person is actually making an effort in the way that speaks the loudest to them.
He asked us to think about the worst experience we ever had in our life. The tone of the room became somber and somewhat depressing, and some of the guys even started crying. He then asked us to think about the happiest time in our lives. Smiles appeared all round, and some of the guys even started laughing. Why do you let your feelings lead your life?
It may just be the perception based on unmet needs or our expectations not matching how things are. Do you have an accurate perception of reality? People are seasonal. Let me prove it to you with your own life.
How many primary school friends did you see this week? How many people from high school? How about university? Your last church? Your old gym? Of course not — your seasons are now different. Of course not. You can seriously damage your relationships when you expect them to be like a season, and especially if you start blaming people for that not being the case.
But this is a failure to accept the reality of life that not everyone who comes into your life is going to stay, and everyone who does stay longer in life will maintain exactly the same relationship with you over longer periods of time.
How you react to that reality is up to you. Joyce Meyer rightly says that a negative mind will never build a positive life. Once again, I think we need to focus on the truth. Does this person love me? Does this group care for my wellbeing? This can be a tricky one. A consequence of this can be that it makes it harder for people to love you successfully. This in turn can serve to reinforce your feeling that no one cares for you.
This may lead you to decisions or behaviour that makes it even harder for people to reach your heart. This in turn…. Watch out for that cycle. Only you have the power to break it in your own life. Is there any reason a person may be or may have been finding it harder to demonstrate love for you? Is your husband closing off because you kept cutting him off?
Is your wife Not feeling loved to get through to you because you keep blaming her for things? Is that friend holding back from you because you always take their comments as negative? Is that group struggling to support you because you doubt every good thing they do? Man, how many thousands of people are around you in your life? How many hundreds or thousands of people have you met? How many people have tried to be your friend? How many positive words have people spoken over your life?
How many times have people come to see you, or tried? How many messages have come through your social media? How many cards have you got sitting around the house with encouragement from people? You might not have all that you want, but have you looked around and seen just how much you have? Look at that brilliant woman or that strong man in your life who puts themselves in your world to the best of their ability.
Look at all the people out there who open their homes and hearts to accept and hear you out. Look at all the tangible things that people have done for you that confirm beyond a shadow of a doubt that you matter. You may have looked over your life and determined that no one loves you and that no one cares. I would urge you to look again. Allow yourself to receive the truth.
But no matter how perfect and wonderful our human relationships can be, there are going to be times when people let us down. They just will. And to base your life on such shifting sand can leave you extremely vulnerable. Build your house on the rock. See the love in your life that has been there from the very beginning, and the love that will never leave you.
The love of God is unchanging and unending. We all have an opportunity to respond to that love. We can be dismissive or ungrateful of it, or we can open our hearts and let it in. Because I know I am always cared for and always accepted. What will be the foundation of your life? Will it be the fallacy and the frailty of human effort? Or will it be knowing that you are always accepted in the heart and the plans of God? I look around in life and in all the reading and talking I do with people around the world of relationships, and I see how truly distraught we can be in the struggle to feel loved.
How about you?
Do you struggle to feel loved? Have you felt that way before? What have you done in that boat? DatingFriendsLoveMarriage. Address. Walking the Shoreline. Search for:. Photo by Ibrahim Asad from Pexels No matter how different we all are us people — in race, creed, faith, geography, history, whatever — we are all fundamentally the same in that we all want to feel like we are loved and wanted.
This in turn… Watch out for that cycle. Break the cycle. The Discussion Cancel reply.Not feeling loved
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