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This month 5 July marks 30 years seminal sitcom Seinfeld debuted. Created by comedian Jerry Seinfeld and writer Larry David — also justly famed for Curb Your Enthusiasm — the exploits of Jerry, George, Elaine, and Kramer featured now infamous acerbic humour, awkward scrapes and astute social observations.
What kind of a sick society are we living in when nice is bad? You spray it on and you smell like you just came home from the beach. What was I thinking? The four worst words in the English language. The blind date. I had so much promise. I was personable, I was bright.
Oh, maybe not academically speaking, but… I was perceptive. My life is the opposite of everything I want it to be.
What you call wasting, I call living. No, tell me. Do you have a job?
Well, now you know how I feel. Like an orange. Which is rare there. Is that so selfish? What do you need it for after you read it? I mean, like if you were locked in a vomitorium for two weeks, could you actually die from the odour?
The woman is walking around in broad daylight with nothing but a bra on. How do they get the caffeine out of there and then where does it go? How can the same street intersect with itself? I must be at the nexus of the universe. This is an incredible idea. I got nothing to lose. We either break up, which she would do anyway, but at least I go out with some dignity. Completely turn the tables. Especially on a. The apples are mealy, the oranges are dry.
Who do you think is going to be the first ones getting a tour of the ship? You know you could let the house go. You could let yourself go. What do you need a break from getting up at eleven? A coffee table book about coffee tables! I hate myself! If anything, I need to get the exact opposite of me. The substitute teachers of the theatre world.
I mean, to have a bunch of strangers treat your house like a hotel room. A garage.
Why should I pay, when if I apply myself, maybe I could get it for free? Do dreams require liquid? I come from a long line of quitters. My father was a quitter, my grandfather was a quitter. I was raised to give up. Isosceles Kramer. How do you wear Best seinfeld dating quotes things!! Golf with a Frisbee. This is gonna be my time. Time to taste the fruits and let the juices drip down my chin.
I proclaim this: The Summer of George! You wander through the desert for 40 years with that dry air. She rolled right over me! Said I was a hipster doofus. Am I a hipster doofus? I have no dignity. I live my whole life in shame. Why should I die with dignity? Oh my God. Negative is good? Oh, yes of course! How stupid of me. Thank you. Why is it that the doors on the stalls do not come all the way down to the floor? You took a bite. And you dipped again. From now on, when you take a chip — just take one dip and end it.
You get to wear slippers all day. Friends visit. They pity you. Pity is very underrated. Plus, they give you those word association tests. I love those.
What do they do? I am sorry. All I wanna see are garbage trucks, garbage cans and garbage men. I put these glasses on a rock. Log In. Log In Register now My. By Alex Nelson. July 12, am Updated October 8, pm. Your guide to what to watch next - no spoilers, we promise address is invalid Thank you for subscribing!
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64 of the funniest Seinfeld quotes to sum up everyday life as the sitcom turns 30